Today, for sure, had it’s ups and downs. For now, I will skip the good and fast forward to the bad. My heart desires love. Sue me, I am a girl, I doubt I am the only one that wants the fairytale ending. However, being the personality I am, I cannot half way do anything, ever. When I do anything, my whole heart is in it. Even in school, which either left me with an 100 or a very low grade. Oh, but when my heart feels an ounce of what it desires, it jumps into the deep in. My hopes, then are based on anything related to “the boy” or whatever it may be. I constantly get to learn the lesson in life that everything fails me. Everything will fail you too. Everything. You can not place your hopes, desires, dreams, sadness, past, anything in anything without it failing you. Unless you place it in God. point blank. Why that is so hard to live by? beats me. Oh, He always amazes me in His loyalty though, even when I have pushed Him to the back of my mind, and don’t have enough time for Him, and when I am pursing something other than Him, He is in absolute, relentless, pursuit of his creation. He is pursing me! Even, when I am being selfish and prideful, He is pursing me with everything He has. God pursued Adam even after his disobedience in the garden (“Where are you?” Genesis 3:9). Even now, as I am so desperately desiring something so little compared to His love, He is continuously in pursuit of me! This warms me in a way I just cannot describe. He loves me so deeply, so passionately, and at all times. I cannot repay him that same love that he so rightly deserves. I pray that I pursue Him with everything I have, giving him my all, because He will never fail me, even when I fail myself, he will be the one holding my hand along the way.
I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
Psam 94:18
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